Message Board Drama

I post on a message board that has many different topics not just infertility and am constantly amazed at the lack of decorum that is displayed there. I am lucky that in my usual section there is relatively little drama. But get outside of that little group and there are trolls waiting. Trolls are those people who have secret user ids to post horrible, divisive, derogatory comments that they would not normally post under their ‘known’ name. Occasionally, they are also posters who seem to be happy to insult and belittle other posters for seemingly no reason. The other people who are waiting are the “right fighters” (thank-you Dr. Phil). These are people who are waiting to pounce on the troll in the name of standing up for what’s right. They can usually be as insulting and cutting, but it’s OK because they are on the “right” side of the issue. They simply can’t just walk away. Then there are the peace keepers, these are the posters that try to show both sides the error of their ways. It’s done with good intention, but really just tends to drag out the drama rather than helping to resolve it.

When I see a post that appears to be purposefully stirring the pot, I keep moving or I will keep an eye on it, but not post. These posts can be entertaining to read as they spiral out of control.

The drama that has happened recently on my message board has really gotten out of hand. People stalk each others posts to use them as ammunition. It creeps into other topics where it doesn’t belong. In fact, someone came into the Infertility area and posted some very hurtful stuff. It’s at the point where the people I post with are talking about starting a private Face_book group. So that we can talk freely (I read this to mean so that they can bitch about all the people they don’t like in addition to talk about issues that most other posters don’t understand e.g., how it feels to find out a friend is pg on their first try when you’ve just had your 26th failed cycle.) My company blocks FB so I can’t participate – I don’t really have anyone to bash, but I can definitely relate to the IF stuff. I fear what’s going to happen is that the girls will all go post there and then I’ll be left alone on my old board.

I’m sad that it’s come to this. I’m sad to be left out of things. And, I just don’t get why people get so worked up about some stupid posts on a message board.

A Vent

I have a beef to pick with the message board world. I am getting tired of seeing people say “I can’t believe this is happening to you. You deserve to get pregnant.” As in, a particular person deserves to be pregnant more than other people. I really hate it when that is said for two reasons. The first being that for the most part, we are all deserving of the ability to get and stay pregnant. We are all deserving of having a child to raise, care for and love. Everyone has their own personal struggles that they need to overcome and no one is in the position of judging which person is more “deserving”. The second reason that I hate seeing this is because it doesn’t do anything to make it better. Let’s say I do think that I am more deserving that I deserve to get pregnant after 25 failed cycles more than a woman trying for the first time. When I’m proven not pregnant yet again, how can being told I’m more deserving help with the situation? It seems to me that if I truly believe that I ‘deserve’ to be pregnant, then not being pregnant will be even more difficult. So ladies, I thank-you for your thoughts and know your hearts are in the right place, but a simple “I’m sorry” will suffice.

Ahhh, I feel a little better now.

Been a while - sorry

Wow - it's been a while since I last posted. Not a lot to talk about lately. Still not pregnant, got my period on Monday. Should have been starting another IUI cycle but I got a bitch of a cold. I just didn't want to deal with sitting there sniffling in a doctor's office waiting to be called in for CD3 blood work. I am not ready to deal with all of the needles again. I know I've got a bit of a time crunch facing me, but I just couldn't make myself do it this month. H. is fine with it.

BTW, Stephen Harper got voted back in with a minority government. What a complete waste of tax payers money. It was clear that he wasn't going to get a majority - just a complete waste of time and energy. The only thing it did accomplish was showing the Liberals that they need to vote in a new leader if they want to beat the Conservatives.

Back to what I was saying earlier... this bitch of a cold is crazy. I've had it since the sore throat showed up on Saturday and I'm still off work. I ended up using a couple vacation days because I've had so many sick days this year. Which reminds me, I really need a job change. I am completely uninterested. That's a post for another day.

Political dishing

Not much new, but I don't want to get out of the habit of posting. Hmm, let's see what's interesting right now. Oh, there is the Canadian election. That's right while those of you in the States are preparing to elect a new President, we, in Canada, are getting set to elect a new Prime Minister. Our election takes place on October 14th. Our current PM, is Stephen Harper - le douchebag. He is a mini dictator - none of his staff or party members are allowed to speak to the press unless he has given them specific permission to do so. Then they are not allowed to give their own opinions, they must spew the party line. He is a member of the Conservatives (similar to Republican and he studies at Dubya's knee). I can't stand him. The problem is that the Liberals (similar to the Democrats) have their own douchebag as a leader - Stephane Dion. He's got about as much personality as a wet-noodle. And, I'm not sure what experience he had that qualifies him to be the leader of his party, let alone the leader of our country. On top of his we have 3 other parties in Canada - the NDPs, the Green Party and the Bloc Quebecois (these guys are separtists that want the province of Quebec to be a country). We end up having minority governments because the vote gets split between so many parties. So, the majority vote against one party, but because the votes are divided between the other 4 parties the government most people don't want in - gets in. In a minority government, it makes it difficult for the ruling government to make any real change because there are so many of the opposition included in votes. Have I lost you yet?

So I am asking all Canadians - vote either for the Conservatives or the Liberals (ahem the latter would be my preference). Voting for any other party will only dilute the election and we'll end up with another minority government. Nobody wants that.

Oh, and i have to voice one of my biggst pet peeves right now... Iraq is pronounced more like ear rack, it is not pronounced eye-rack.), same goes for Iran - closer to ear-an than eye ran.

Anyway, those are my 2 cents for what's that worth!

He Got a Job!

Wow – I’ve been pretty lax about writing lately. Sorry about that. I guess it’s because not a lot has been going on from a fertility standpoint. I’m having a weird cycle this month not sure if I’ll ovulate, but the faster this cycle's over the faster we can move on to IUI#2.

There are a couple of anniversaries happening this month for me – October 12th is my 2nd wedding anniversary. H and I have been together for 8 years, married for 2. As the fates would have it, my cycle lined up perfectly when we were married to allow us to really try to get pregnant for the first time on our wedding night. You know the results of that, so we are also about to celebrate 2 years of trying. Where has the time gone? I’m currently on my 26th cycle – thank-you short cycles. We did take a couple of months off here and there, but really it’s been 2 years. Sigh.

On the plus side, H. has 2 job offers and signed the contract for one of them today. He’s starting the new job on Monday. Yay! All I can say is – finally!!!! It’s a 2 year contract, with the money being paid to his company and then he pays himself a salary. No benefits, no paid vacation, but it pays a lot (a lot) more than his last job. So, he can afford to set money aside and plan for vacations or have a safety net in the event that he’s laid off again. I am so incredibly happy for him (us). It’s been really difficult for him over the last 6 months, it’s nice to see that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for him.

There is one other big thing that we’re considering right now – a complete life change for me. I have been interested in nutrition and how the body works with food for a while. I have educated myself quite a bit about it and find it very interesting. Well, H. and I were talking and he brought up the suggestion of being a Holistic Nutritionist. It is something that interests me very much and it scares me more than a little bit. You have to understand that I have worked in the financial world since 1993 (holy crap - 15 years!!!!). I kind of fell into it because my Aunt was VP of human resources at a company and I needed a job. Then I was really good at it. I do corporate training now, which is interesting, but... I would love to do something different, something where I’m my own boss. This would allow me to take my interests and make my own hours. It would take me about a year and a half to get the diploma. Then I would probably work at it part time until I had a set clientelle. I am cautiously excited about it. The course is a lot of money, but H. is going to help me pay for it. I just have to say that he’s amazing – so supportive and wants great things for me. Not sure how I got so lucky.

Anyway, back to the fertility stuff. I'm on CD12 waiting to see if I ovulate and then wait for AF to show up. I'm anxious to talk to my RE about the last cycle. I seemed to respond well to everything, and I know we only had a 25% chance of getting pg, but I'd like to know if there's anything we should be doing differently this time around.