Feeling Nauseous

Who had 7w5d for me to start throwing up? I was praying that it wouldn't happen. For the past few weeks I've felt nauseous and gross and exhausted, but there was only one morning where I had a bit of a dry heave. Today, I've thrown up twice at work. Gross. Sorry for the TMI. I felt dizzy at lunch and thought I was going to pass out, then this pm I had a visit with the porcelain god. Blech.

This triplet thing has me thrown for a loop. It wasn't on my radar screen, it was a 3% chance that came true. 3%. Crazy. I know it's really early and maybe I shouldn't be counting my chickens before they're hatched, but it's kind of hard not to worry and begin to make plans. I always thought that once I was fortunate enough to get pregnant that I'd be cautious about things. It's just not happening that way for me. Everyone knows, for better or for worse, the cat is definitely out of the bag.

We're having our real estate agent come out to the house tonight. Just to get some information. We want to weigh the possibilities we have about what we could get for our house and if the house we need is out there right now. In Ontario, they are introducing the HST (a blended tax - tax on housing will go from I think 8% to 13%) on July 1st. Apparently the market is really hot right now because people are trying to avoid the HST. Anyway, we should have more information after our meeting tonight.

Above and beyond everything, I feel incredibly blessed to have this pregnancy. The vomiting today has made it more real. And, even though it's gross and I hate doing it, it's just one more sign that this pregnancy is real. My first OB/GYN appointment was booked for June 25th, but after I called and informed them of the new multiple status of the pg, they moved it up to June 11th. I can't wait to get another look at what's living in my belly.

There's another topic I need to cover, but I'm not sure how prepared I am to deal with it. It's about the guilt of moving on. I don't really feel completely on the pg path yet, but I know that's the way my posts will read. I wish that all of you can finally find the treatment or choice that works for you; whatever path it is that will lead you to fulfill your dreams. I understand that you may not want to read along or comment much on my blog, I'll be following along with you and cheering you on. I hope you'll stop by if/when you can.

Ultrasound Results

Well, I'm back from my u/s and have some amazing results. We went into the exam room - oh, H. was with me - and the tech first tried to get results via an abdominal u/s. That wasn't clear enough, so we went to the transvaginal u/s, always with the cootercam. Anyway, the tech is looking and she shows us that there are two sacks and she does all of the measurements, looks at heartbeats etc and then she say. "I'll be right back". Both, H and I thought to ourselves - that's never good news... The tech came back with another woman. Tech 2 takes over and is looking and H says "so how many do we have in there? and Tech 2 says "well we think it's at least 2." My heart stopped, what does "at least mean". Yep, it means what you think it means... we're having triplets! Holy fuck! We had two embies transferred but one of them split. So, we're expecting a set of identicals and a fraternal.

I guess when we do things, we really do things!

I thought about selective reduction for about half a second. Going into this, i thought if we have triplets we'd reduce - better health for me and better health opportunities for the babies. But, now that I'm faced with it, I'm not sure I could do it. And, I know H. would not go for it. Unless the Dr. gives me very good reasons that we should reduce, we're not going to.

My life just flipped upside down and I'm feeling really good about it.

6W1D

I'm halfway through the first trimester which seems weird to me. I'm having lots of cramping today, no bleeding so that's good. I'm exhausted, but I think that's mainly due to the cold I have and also to the progesterone that I'm on. My cold today is better, but it's still not great. H. has been sick all week and now his jaw is bothering him - it's extremely painful. He grinds his teeth. Last night our chocolate lab couldn't get up off the floor. He was in pain and wouldn't come to me, even when offered a treat or asked if he wanted to go outside. I lost it I was so upset. By the time H. got home, the pup got up and walked gingerly to him. So, it wasn't as bad as we initially thought he has arthritis in his back or his hip. Poor puppy.

Back to the pregnancy, I don't feel like I'm pregnant. I expected to be throwing up and having extremely sore boobs. Instead, I don't feel like eating, I'm not throwing up and I'm tired. I can't wait for my ultrasound on Thursday.

Had a Cold

Just a quick post to let you know I'm still around. I have been sick since the weekend. I have been off work all week accept for the couple of hours I went in yesterday to finish a project. Blech. I'm so sick of blowing my nose. I am on the mend now though. I think it was a cold triggered by allergies. I called the motherisk line to find out if antihistamines are safe to take in the 1st trimester - the brand I use are. I took one yesterday and it helped tremendously.

I have been reading along with your blogs and silently cheering you on. I haven't had the energy to post anywhere lately. I'll catch up soon - promise!

My symptoms are pretty well non-existant right now and of course that has me a little worried. But, I just have to remind myself that I wasn't having any symptoms and the betas were really strong. Well, I do get pretty burpy after eating and have had a few very minor cases of heart burn. I'll be 6 weeks tomorrow and the u/s is just a week away now. I'm praying for heart beats (well heart beat). H and I keep referring to my pregnancy as the babies or them. We both think there's more than one in there. Who knows? The idea kind of terrifies me, but excites me at the same time. Like I've said before, we'll love however many are in there (either 1 or 2).

5W1D

Yesterday I made it to 5 weeks. I have been doing pretty good at keeping the worrying at bay. Every time I go to the bathroom I check to see if there's blood. I figure that's a given at this point. If I have a strange pain or sharp cramp I may occasionally start worrying about an ectopic, but truly, for the most part, I have not been worrying. I have really been trying to just take in the fact that the donor egg cycle worked. I guess I have been feeling content.

I have also been completely and utterly exhausted. I start yawning around 7:30 and am in bed by 9pm. I am burp-y and have some crampy fullness type feelings and have tender boobs. Oh and also the occasional heart burn flare-ups. Other than that, I'm feeling great.

My doctor is on vacation right now, but before she went she gave me a script for my ultrasound and also did the referral to the hospital/dr obgyn I will be seeing. She said that I can go for my u/s as early as May 13th, but I am going to hold off until May 20th (if I can) - I should be 7 weeks by then. I just want to make sure that we have the best chance possible of seeing/hearing a heart beat. I don't want to go too early and chance not hearing something and then worrying myself sick over it.

I hope wherever you are in your cycle, whether your cycling at all or taking a break, that life is treating you well.

Prague & Brno

Here are some photos from our trip to Prague/Brno:

If you're ever in Prague/Brno and you want a bottle of non-carbonated water, you order "water, no gas". They don't give you tap water it's all bottled:



Any building that has a Czech flag & a Euro flag is a governmental building. I'm not sure which building this is, but it's beautiful:



This clock was built in the 1300's by an expert clock maker. After the clock was completed, the city hired someone to blind the maker so that he couldn't make another like it. The clock maker then climbed the tower blind and disabled the clock. Rendering it useless for a couple hundred years until someone finally was able to fix it:





H. enjoying one of the many fine Czech beers:



Me:



The Castle & its Cathedral:



Brno - Our Hotel



Town Square





Those are a few of our 100's of pictures, hope you enjoy them.

Beta #2

I called the clinic to set up an appointment to go in and get my results from my lab test yesterday. My favourite receptionist answered and she checked the computer - they weren't there - then she put me on hold so that she could call the lab and get the results. She called me back when she received the results and said "I've got them, it's good news. See you at one". I seriously love this girl! I made an appointment for 1pm today - H. came down to meet me and we went together.

My number for today was 1206 and the progesterone was up to 32. A doubling time of 36.67 hours.

Again we were told to be cautiously optimistic and also told of the frequencies of miscarriages in the first trimester.

I was also given a referral for my first ultrasound. Also, my doctor told me that my due date is January 6, 2011.

The appointment proved my instincts right. I told my clinic that I felt like in the morning my progesterone had warn off completely and then only kicked in again in the afternoon. From that, I said that I though I should double up my crinone. Well, the first beta was done at 9 in the morning and progesterone = 17, yesterday's beta was done at 4pm and came back at 32. I'm going to continue to double up on my progesterone.

Today's been a good day.

Telling

Thank-you for all of your comments and well wishes and support! There aren't words to express how much it means other than all of your comments brought a smile and some tears to my face/eyes.

Part of a comment posted by Valery was about waiting for better footing before getting too excited. I thought that would be my instinct if I ever had a positive. I thought that I would be sensible and that H. and I would keep it to ourselves at least until we were sure that things would progress. That isn't how things have been. He's told his Dad and a couple friends and I have told my family (and all of you!). We're excited and optimistic and I guess somewhere inside I just made the decision to revel in it. There are no guarantees in life so I'm going to enjoy this for as long as it's mine to enjoy. I am going to wait until we get the results of the 2nd beta back before I tell my group of friends though.

Kate - I'm not going to POAS even though I know the outcome. I just hate those things too much. Even as I type this, there is a part of me that would still like to see what a positive pee stick looks like, but I just don't know psychologically if I can do it.

Last night my brother called me to find out about dinner for this weekend (Mother's Day & a late celebration for my Dad's birthday that was last week). My bro is buying a cottage so we were talking about the deal hopefully closing this week and that we'll have something to celelbrate. I then said "we'll have something else to celebrate as well" and there was silence on the end of the phone. I made my big strong baby brother cry as he was walking down the street. We both were a little soggy. A little later we hung up and then H and I were off to the 'shwa to tell my parents. My Mom said to me "So, what's the news?" and I said "Are you ready to be a Grandma?" She nodded, then I said "Well, good because I'm p....." (can't type that word yet even though I've said it a couple of times). They were so happy, my Mom cried and Dad gave me a big kiss and hug. And, of course congratulated H.

I know I'm supposed to be cautiously optimistic, and that's what I told my parents and my bro. And, they know we're not telling anyone else at this point. We just really needed to tell the people we love the big news.

A Post i've Wanted to Write for 3 Years -ish

I guess that title will completely give it away, but it's offficial - the DEIVF cycle worked. On 11DP5DT, my beta was 430 and my progesterone was 17. I'm a little worried about the progesterone and am doubling up on my crinone from now on.

I called my Dr's office to follow up on the results and they had them faxed over. My doctor started off with the sentence "everything's good" and I lost it. I went to the ugly cry (as Oprah says).

I am in complete shock... I was convinced that this hadn't worked and on my way over to the clinic I was giving myself a little pep talk about how to handle it.

I'm going to go do a follow up beta to make sure we're still on track. I'm cautiously optimistic. Hell, I'm rejoicing, shaking, shocked over the first positive I've seen in 3 years.

H. is happy and has already emailed his Dad who left for France on Saturday.

Thank-you thank-you thank-you for holding the hope in your hearts when I couldn't do it for myself. The comments, emails and support I have received have really lifted me up and comforted me.

Edited to Add: I'm adding the following information for me, so that I have it documented and can refer back to it for nostalgia...

I tried calling the doctor's office all morning, every time I called it was sent direct to voicemail and the box was full. I really wanted to see if my lab tests were available yet. I knew that I was supposed to wait until Tuesday, but I'd waited so long I just wanted to hear the results. At noon I stopped calling and figured I'd just wait until the next day. Around 3pm I decide I'd try one last time to get through to the clinic, the blonde receptionist answered the phones, the one I'm friendly with. I told her it was me and that I was looking to see if my test results were in. She said what results - I said Beta. She checked the computer, they weren't there and then said "I'll call them to get them to fax it over then I'll call you back" about 5 minutes later she called and said "we have the results, come now and Dr. W can see you". I hung up the phone with my heart pounding in my chest and in my ears. I grabbed my sunglasses and a big wad of napkins in case I cried. In the elevator down and on my walk over I gave myself a pep talk of sorts. "It's going to be negative, but that's not the end of the world. We should have frozen embryos, I'll just have to go over and do a FET. It's going to be okay." etc etc. I only had to wait a few minutes at the office before the doctor called me in. She delivered the good news right away, and I seriously lost, Bad ugly cry, huge racking sobs. I had to have her keep repeating what she told me because it wasn't sticking. She handed me the paper with my results and it was shaking like a leaf in my hands. The receptionist high fived me when I came out of the office and said "I knew the results, I just couldn't say anything". They let me use their phone to call H. Then I floated on cloud 9 back to my office.

Went for Beta

I had to go to a regular lab for my beta today because my RE has opted out of being part of the whole donor eggs process. This means that even though I went to the lab today I won't get the results until Tuesday at the latest. That's crazy! And, is almost enough to make me POAS, but I'm still holding firm against doing that.

The lab was crazy busy; it opened at 8am, I got there at 8:02 and the place was a zoo. There were only 2 people working and they also had to work the reception desk. I waited an hour and 15 minutes to get my blood taken. The nurse/lab tech despite being over-worked was amazingly nice. She wished me luck as I left.

So, we shall know soon enough.