I’ve completely given up temp’ing this month and taking my vitamins. I kind of feel blah – you know, what’s the point. We’re still DTD and trying, but I feel kind of like we should just throw in the towel. I know we have only had the one IUI and haven’t done anything else. But it all feels so pointless. I guess you can tell that I’m not feeling a lot of hope right now. Oh, it’s still there at the back of my mind, but it’s not nearly as strong a feeling as it used to be. Doubt has even crept in. Do we really want kids? Are we ready for how it will change our lives? I have already dealt with all of this stuff. And, the answer is yes on both accounts, but I don’t know. I guess I really didn’t expect it to be this hard.
I thought it might take a while, I thought we might have to go to a FC, but I really thought we’d be pregnant by now. So, now that we are where we are in this process (essentially nowhere) how do we keep going?
We're still going ahead with the next IUI in January. I guess I just have to stay focussed on that.
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3 comments:
I have questioned if this is what we really want on a few occasions and the answer is always, "YES". I don't much care for the journey so I try to keep my eye on the prize. Some days it is just so hard to do. Hang in there.
I have felt the exact same way. This summer I flew into a mini-rage and threw out everything I owned that had to do with pregnancy. And out went the prenatals. Taking them everyday was just a reminder of what was not happening for me. So I understand where you are coming from.
Focus on January. But in the meantime (and I know this is hard-impossible) try to do something that will take up your time and take your thoughts off of this stuff. A hobby, movies, anything. You only have a month and a half until January. You can make it.
**hugs**
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