Fragile

Mr. Parker: Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.
Mrs. Parker: Uh, I think that says FRAGILE, dear. (A XMAS Story)

I’ve been feeling a little fragile lately, like I’m just going to breakdown crying at any given moment. I don’t know when I turned into such a suck, but there you have it. We cut down our Christmas tree on Sunday; we couldn’t find a tree exactly to my wishes and when we had to settle for a short fat tree instead of a tall, full tree I almost cried. I pouted all the way back to the car.

Yesterday the hubby and I played hookey, it was nice. We were watching tv and an old comedian from my childhood was being interviewed. I almost started crying because seeing him reminded me of what a great childhood that I’d had. All the things I’d done with my parents. Things I wanted to do with my kids. Kids that I don’t have…

Every road seems to lead back to my inability to get pregnant.

I need to shake off this feeling. I need to realize that there are so many things in my life that are good… my husband, my puppies, my family, my fil, my friends, my job and co-workers, our home. Having a baby will enhance the picture. It’s not the whole; it’s simply a part of the picture.

I’m starting to thing about my New Years Resolutions. Usually, I’m not big on them and I rarely stick to them, but this year I may actually do it.