39

How the hell did I get this old? 39 years old?! I feel like I'm about 22. Actually, I have asked myself that question a couple times, but really I'm fine with it. I'm fine with who I am. I only wish I was younger so that I'd be a younger Mom when it happens, if that makes any sense. Alas, it is what it is.

It was a very full birthday weekend and I was spoiled rotten. Thursday I went with my 3 best girlfriends (unfortunately one girl wasn't able to make it) to a restaurant called Joe.Mamma's. It was so much fun, they serve cajun creole food and have live music. We got there around 6ish and didn't leave until around 1am. The band which was this funky R&B/Blues band sang happy birthday to me. So much fun!

Friday we had a bunch of my family over for Good Friday and to celebrate my bday. My Mom made me a birthday cake that used to be one of my favourites - apple spice cake with a maple fudge icing. Delish!

Saturday the weather was so gorgeous (it was around 25 degrees celsius or 77 degrees F)sunny and blue skies. So we took the dogs down to the dog run at the Beach. Poor old chocolate lab is really out of shape. Then we went home and watched Sherlock.Holmes. It was pretty good, but I though Rachel McAdams was miscast.

Sunday was Easter and we went out to an Aunt's place for dinner, there were 22 people in all. We sat out in the backyard on their patio and caught up with one another. I love spedning time with those people. They are amazing.

Monday (my actual bday) I went in to work. My team brought Szechuan.Szechuan in for lunch - crispy ginger beef = yum! H. sent me a dozen white roses, they are gorgeous and then he surprised me by showing up with an ice cream cake at my office to share with my team. Then we went and did the groceries and watched Dancing.with.the.stars.


On a TTC note, one week today we leave for Brno. Holy crap! I have to go for my visit with the cootercam on Thursday to make sure my lining is doing what it's supposed to do. I'm taking 2mg of estrogen three times a day right now and from the amount of ewcm I have I think the lining should be good. H. and I haven't got much stuff ready for the trip. We have to start thinking about getting stuff done e.g., determining how much money to bring with us, look into places we'd like to visit or restaurants to eat at etc. The dogs will be staying with my cousin while we're gone and FIL lives with us so he'll be taking care of the house & mail etc so at least we don't have to worry about that stuff.

I was in the bathroom this morning, drying off after my shower and was thinking about how close we are to leaving and thinking back to when I had my first SHG. The doctor that performed it said that we didn't have much time - 6 months to a year if we wanted to get pregnant with my eggs. I really thought he was wrong. That was almost 3 years ago. Today, I realized he was right. I wonder how many women in my position choose not to believe what they are hearing?

ETA - Based on a comment from Mad Hatter, I just want to expand on the last question that I left hanging at the end of my post. I actually think it's normal not to believe the diagnosis that we're given when it's DOR or high fsh. There are all kinds of stories out there of women who have been given the diagnosis and choose not to believe it or not to surrender to it or to succeed despite it and go on and have normal healthy pregnancies. These are the stories that we must hold onto when we are waging the battle against the odds. Hold tight to them Maddy, because they do happen.