Shared Emotions

I was reading a friend's blog about running into an IF sister at a neighbourhood get together. It made me reflect on a party at my Mom's house earlier in the week. It was one of those tupperware-ish parties - all women. All women who know about the recent failed IVF and are women who have watched me grow up and love me. So, I put a rule in place that I would go, but I didn't want to talk about it.

The first person I saw was an Aunt, she gave me a big hug and had tears in her eyes, but god bless her, didn't say a word. It got easier after that.

At the end of the night, most of the women had gone and I was saying goodnight to a different Aunt (my Mom has 5 sisters)and somehow I brought up the IVF. I talked to my Aunt about the woman from my previous post and how I just know there's no plan or "meant to be" when it comes to being a Mom... 'cause if there was I would be the Mom not that crazy cocaine lady. Then she brought up her own tragedy, long ago forgotten by me. She lost her baby boy at 7 months pregnant. She had done everything right and taken care of herself (she's a nurse practitioner). She was in the maternity ward grieving the loss of her son while in the next bed was the "town bike" who had just given birth and was hopping out of bed every hour to go have a smoke.

My aunt and I shared a moment of our misery, each separate, but essentially the same. She got it and that's what I needed in that moment. No hugs, no tears, just a shared look that said we both understood.