Tuesday, December 28, 2010

She's Here!

As of 2:25pm on Thursday December 23rd Little G came screaming into the world via c-section. She weighed 7.2lbs and was 20.9 inches long. She's perfect and has really long fingers and long toes. So far she's been a great baby, sleeping a lot and eating about every three hours. i'm doing pretty good. We got out of the hospital on Sunday and the pain is very manageable.

The only issue I have right now is with breastfeeding. I can't do it. I have inverted nipples and it's extremely difficult. Both breasts are really engorged, hard and lumpy... I found a lump under my left armpit today and it looks like there's a slight infection setting in. I made the incredibly difficult decision to go to formula - i cried in the baby food aisle while we were there to get what we need. I feel a bit like a failure. But the pumping and finger feeding and supplementing with formula was just too much for me. too many tears and too much stress around it. i'd rather have a happy relationship and use formula.

Here's our first picture as a family:

Little G - in the santa hat her great grandma knit for her...

Saturday, December 18, 2010

5 more days

I can't believe it's already December 18th and it's been so long since my last update. I'm currently 37 weeks and 2 days along - I weighed myself this morning and I've gained 2lbs so far. I did lose around 10lbs at the beginning so I've actually gained back about 12lbs. I have a big red quilted winter jacket and you can't tell at all that I'm pregnant when I'm wearing it. One of my big fears was that I would not be in control of my eating while pregnant and would gain all kinds of weight. Weirdly, I haven't gone crazy, but I've basically eaten whatever I wanted and this is where I am. I was very heavy to begin with, so I'm not supposed to gain a lot and Little G is right where she's supposed to be so I feel pretty good about things.

My c-section is Thursday Dec 23rd, so it's fast approaching. Today we are going out to buy the final stuff for my hospital bag and stuff for the nursery. I am doing the last load of baby clothes as I'm typing this - still have a few stuffed toys to do. And, have to sterilize the pacifiers we bought. Little by little we're getting where we're supposed to be.

All of our Christmas shopping is done and the tree is up, our cards are all mailed out. One thing this baby has forced us to do is be a lot more organized.

I'm very nervous about the surgery. I don't know how I'll react to the pain meds and I'm worried about recovery. I've got more to say, but have to run.

More later...

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Countdown is on

I am 35 weeks today and in 3 weeks at this time I will have my baby in my arms. Isn't that wild? Thanks to the planned c-section I know she'll be here and even if the operation is pushed back a little, I'm sure by now she'll be out in the world. The c-section is supposed to be at 10am barring unforeseen circumstances. Wow! I have a pre-admin appointment on Monday to meet with the anaesthesiologist to go over the procedure. I have scoliosis in my spine and we want to make sure that I'll be able to have a spinal. H will be coming along with me to make sure my questions all get answered as well as to remember the stuff I'm likely to forget or overlook.

Frankly, I'm nervous about the surgery and also about the recovery. I'm nervous about breastfeeding and whether we'll be able to do it or not. I'm nervous about a whole lot of things, but in another way I am so ready to be a Mom. I mean, this is what it's all about, right? This is what all the struggle and tears and failed tests and disappointments and set backs were about...getting to this point. I can't wait to be a Mom and I really can't wait to see H be a Daddy. I'm sure I'll cry the first time I see him holding Little G.

Despite expecting our new arrival, life marches on which means Christmas is just around the corner. We are doing our best to get all of our Christmas shopping and cards done early this year. I think we've got a pretty good handle on things. The weekend of the 12th we're going to get our Christams tree. Usually we cut one down, but this year we're just going to hit up a tree lot. I have started to put up a few decorations, but we have to wait for the house to be cleaned up first. You see, Little G's room used to be our storage space so we have boxes upon boxes of papers and stuff and knick knacks to go through. H is the one taking the lead on this and he's doing a great job! We're almost there. Once that's cleaned up I can decorate.