Friday, March 28, 2008

The Eagle has Landed

I know I shouldn't complain. I mean, I'm not one of those women whose cycles go on and on for months at a time, but I am so happy AF is here. This cycle was 32 days long - a week longer than my normal cycle. I really don't know why my cycle is all over the place, but it is. And, if my husband tells me one more time that it's just stress he's the one who's going to be stressed. Any way, it's here woohoo. The only down side (of course there's a down side) is that I'm supposed to be having CD3 blood work for my first fertility clinic appointment next Wednesday, but CD 3 is Sunday and there aren't any labs open. So, I'm going in first thing Monday morning (CD4) with H and we'll both get our blood work done.

I am a worrier, although at first glance I hide it pretty well. I'm worried that there's going to be something seriously wrong with me. I have a feeling already that I have a cyst or multiple cysts on my right ovary - I can literally feel something there. I'm scared that they're going to look at me and say Oh - that has to come out and start getting ready to adopt. Or worse. I will deal with whatever I'm told (or should say we'll deal), but I tend to go through all the scenarios prior to dr.'s appointments.

On a slightly different note, h. and I were watching that show about the couple with the twins and sextuplets. H. has said he would love a large family while I have always said 2 kids would be nice. We started talking about IVF and what we'd do if there were 6 sacks showing on the ultrasound. I told him that I would go for selective red_uction - regardless of how difficult it would be because I'd want the best chances for healthy babies (that couple was incredibly lucky) and also I would be worried about my own health. Well, h. did not like that very much - his exact words were that "I'm not going to kill his babies". Yikes. It's a bit of a stalemate between us. Of course I'm putting the cart before the horse even thinking about IVF, but I told him that I would really have to think about even doing IVF if that is his attitude. I guess we wouldn't have to put in that many embryos so that it's not even a possibility.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

to do

H and I had a great vacation in Florida. Very relaxing. We took in a couple spring training games, ate a lot of good food and got a little sun. The weather wasn't fantastic, but there were a few good days. I didn't really think about trying to get pregnant the while we were away. I did have one conversation with my aunt. She can sort of relate. She was able to get pregnant and had a child, but labour was a horrible affair for her. There were a lot of complications and the doctor was complete inept. She ended up having to have an emergency hysterectomy - I think she was 24 at the time. I talked to her about the option of adopting. She and my uncle tried to go through the process of adopting, but found there was too much red tape and just too hard emotionally (that was a little over 30 years ago). She was a good sounding board.

I had a dr.'s appointment yesterday - it was an appointment to get a family physician. This doctor was fantastic. She made me feel incredibly comfortable, she was caring and present and didn't rush me. It's too bad she's not the doctor I will be dealing with at the fertility clinic. That appointment is on April 2nd. I'm just waiting to start my period so I can do the CD3 blood work to take in with me. H. has to do some blood work and sperm analysis. He's going to get that done too in the next week so that we have all of the results for our appointment on the 2nd.

On the whole temping front - it's been a bit of a joke. I can never remember to take my temperature. I guess I'm going to have to mention it to H to remind me.

I have been giving my life a lot of thought lately. There are a few things I need to do in order to be ready for a baby.

1. Lose weight (i'm significantly overweight)
2. Eat more nutritiously.
3. Clean up my house- particularly the spare bedroom.

1. Lose weight: Well, I joined the Women's Only Learn to Run program at my local Runn*ng Room. The first night was last night and I really enjoyed it. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was fun, but there was definitely a feeling of camaraderie.

2. My dr. recommended Salba - it's an extremely nutritious grain (comes from Chia as in Chia pet) It helps with diabetes, high blood pressure etc. In addition I'm going to start eating more fruit and vegetable. I am really low on this right now. I think I'm done with diets. I just want to monitor what I eat and work out.

3. Spare Bedroom - right now it's a mess. I think it needs to be cleaned up, organized and cleared out to get ready for a baby. I don't want to go so far as decorating it, but I want to know that when I get pregnant the room will be ready. I kind of feel like it's symbolic of our life and by keeping it disorganized we haven't made room for a baby in our life.

So, that's where I stand today.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Off to FLA

Well, I still haven't remembered to temp. Now I've got a cold so the temp would be off anyway. We're going to Florida for the next 10 days or so. I'm hoping it will be nice and relaxing. I've got some walking on the beach planned and some shopping planned. We're going to two spring training baseball games and we're going to Gardens.

We have to leave the puppies in a kennel - we're using one where the dogs are fully supervised, but are able to run around for most of the day. It's a little more expensive, but is definitely better than them having to stay in cages the whole time we're gone.

I haven't really been focused very much on this whole fertility thing. It's kind of like if I ignore it, it's not real. It will become a whole lot more real after my appointment in April.