Thursday, August 04, 2011

Still Here

I am still here. I have taken a bit of a break from reading blogs and blogging lately. Life just got a little hectic.

Little G is officially crawling, well army crawling, not quite on all 4s yet. She sure can move. She is attracted to wires, bathrooms and the dogs' waterbowl. We play this game where she makes a beeline for the forbidden items and I scoop her up before she gets there.

We have also started solids, a little later than most people think should happen, but meh, it is what it is. So far she's had apples, pears, bananas, avacado, zucchini, sweet potato and rice cereal. She really likes the avacado and cereal. Hates pears.

She is also saying "mamamama", but not calling me it, just making the sounds. She is reaching for me now. I have to pinch myself sometimes to make sure it is all real. That I really have a kid.

A friend made the decision to stop her pursuit of a child. It is tough for me to comprehend stopping trying without having exhausted all means. She doesn't want a child that is not genetically linked to both her husband and herself. Which, I can respect if not understand. I had contemplated having to make that decision, but I knew I wouldn't find peace with it until we had at a minimum tried DE. I realized that being a Mom was more important than the genes. Anyway, I am actually really happy for my friend. She can stop slugging through the hell that is failed cycle after failed cylce, the rollercoaster of having hope and losing hope. She can look forward and build a different, and wonderful life with her husband without the weight of cycling. I think you have to be a really brave person to know when to say enough is enough.

2 comments:

Valery said...

Glad to hear you're doing well. Glad you are so wise to not worry today about what may or may not happen in December. or with the FET.
To me it sounds almost funny, worrying about soooo much love. My DP told me when his second one was born he suddenly realised how much he had bonded with his first. Newborns don't say "mamamama". But that doesn't mean you love them less. The amount of time and money you can give your kids is finite, but I think you can love each and every person for who they are.
Enjoy your one on one time with little G while it lasts and good luck with all those future decisions.

iamstacey said...

I'm so glad you and Little G are doing so well! Davie is just right behind! She has just started to get up on all fours but doesn't go anywhere yet. She has just started to laugh on purpose. I've never had more fun! ;)

DE was our next step, too. And like you, I couldn't imagine not taking it. I would've kept going 'til all the money and/or insurance ran out. I don't know what I would've done after that if we hadn't been successful. I don't know if I ever would've made peace with it. I do envy our sisters who can move on with peace and find joy.