Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Message Board Drama

I post on a message board that has many different topics not just infertility and am constantly amazed at the lack of decorum that is displayed there. I am lucky that in my usual section there is relatively little drama. But get outside of that little group and there are trolls waiting. Trolls are those people who have secret user ids to post horrible, divisive, derogatory comments that they would not normally post under their ‘known’ name. Occasionally, they are also posters who seem to be happy to insult and belittle other posters for seemingly no reason. The other people who are waiting are the “right fighters” (thank-you Dr. Phil). These are people who are waiting to pounce on the troll in the name of standing up for what’s right. They can usually be as insulting and cutting, but it’s OK because they are on the “right” side of the issue. They simply can’t just walk away. Then there are the peace keepers, these are the posters that try to show both sides the error of their ways. It’s done with good intention, but really just tends to drag out the drama rather than helping to resolve it.

When I see a post that appears to be purposefully stirring the pot, I keep moving or I will keep an eye on it, but not post. These posts can be entertaining to read as they spiral out of control.

The drama that has happened recently on my message board has really gotten out of hand. People stalk each others posts to use them as ammunition. It creeps into other topics where it doesn’t belong. In fact, someone came into the Infertility area and posted some very hurtful stuff. It’s at the point where the people I post with are talking about starting a private Face_book group. So that we can talk freely (I read this to mean so that they can bitch about all the people they don’t like in addition to talk about issues that most other posters don’t understand e.g., how it feels to find out a friend is pg on their first try when you’ve just had your 26th failed cycle.) My company blocks FB so I can’t participate – I don’t really have anyone to bash, but I can definitely relate to the IF stuff. I fear what’s going to happen is that the girls will all go post there and then I’ll be left alone on my old board.

I’m sad that it’s come to this. I’m sad to be left out of things. And, I just don’t get why people get so worked up about some stupid posts on a message board.

1 comment:

Lost in Space said...

I stuck around on one for a couple years and know the exact types of posts you are describing. It's sad when the people who should understand you most for shared interests or shared coping become the ones making things more difficult. I said good-bye after my 2nd failed IVF and haven't looked back since.

I'm sorry you are feeling left out and hope you can find that community feeling again somewhere else. Hugs.