Thursday, August 12, 2010

19 Weeks

I'm about half way through my pregnancy today - which seems quite unbelievable to me. I still feel like a bit of an imposter when I'm talking about being pregnant or expecting a baby. At first glance I don't look that different from the old pre-pregnancy me. For one, I haven't gained any weight and I am still wearing all of my regular clothes. I do have a bit more of a paunch, but wouldn't say that I look pregnant at all. I have had to buy a few bra extenders because the strap was cutting off my breathing, but the cups still fit relatively well.

Now, when it's just me and my mirror I can see the physical differences that have been made. I have a linea nigra stretching down from my belly button. And, for full disclosure my boobs are looking a little different as well.

The nausea comes and goes, as does the exhaustion, for the most part I've turned the corner for throwing up as well. I'm still not feeling the babe move very much, I have an anterior placenta so that will probably take a while for me to feel anything.

And, I just can't get past the fear of losing this babe. It's not the main focus of my day and I certainly don't dwell on it, but after losing the twins I can't help but feel scared we're going to lose this little girl.

I just keep praying that come January we have our little girl, healthy and active in our arms.


S said...

I can certainly understand your fear; I am sure I would feel the same in your shoes.

I will continue to think positive thoughts that your little one will continue to progress and arrive healthy right on time.

Fran said...

Sweetie you are doing very well. I have the same fear but there is nothing we can do about it. I've everything crossed for both of us that we will be moms in January. Stay strong! Fran

Kate said...

glad you're starting to feel some movement. It progressed pretty rapidly to regularly feeling stuff for me, even with my anterior placenta. The movement was the biggest thing that reassured me my baby was ok. Glad you're doing well!