Wednesday, April 20, 2011

One Year Ago Today

It was a year ago that I woke up in a hotel room in Brno with H and got ready for a big change to take place. We headed to the clinic where two near perfect embryos were waiting to be transferred into my uterus. After the transfer, H and I headed down to the town square to look around and have lunch. We were officially in the two week wait. A year later I spent the day with our daughter, soothing her through a cranky period this afternoon and loving every minute of it, even if I did get a little frustrated with her crying.

DEIVF was the best decision I ever made. This little girl is exactly who I am supposed to be mothering. Sometimes, when I encounter other women with a similar diagnosis to mine, I want to ask them what they are waiting for? Do they want a biological child or is it really just about being a Mom? To me these women arenot even in the game, when you are dealing with a less than 5% chance, the odds are seriously against you. DEIVF makes things so much more favourable. Hindsight is 20 20. I have to remind myself that moving to DEIVF was not easy for me and that I had to take my path to it, just like these other women have to travel their own paths. By the way, the person who I am really thinking about when writing this does not have a blog, I met her out in the world and really think DEIVF is her best shot. BUT! that is not my call.

5 comments:

S said...

Moving to DE wasn't easy for me either, but I am optimistic that some time soon I will be sharing your feelings. :-)

It does feel good to FINALLY be doing something that has a much greater greater chance of success than failure.

Mad Hatter said...

I am very happy for you that you have found your little girl.

Even though people have the same diagnosis, there really is no cookie cutter solution for all of us. It's great that DE is an option for women for whom it feels right. I applaud modern science for providing that opportunity and I am thrilled for all my blogsisters who have become mothers via DE. There are couples, though, for whom it is just not an option, and I would argue that they can still be in the game - they just have to play differently and work with the options they are comfortable with.

Best to you,
Maddy

Fran said...

Sweet, I remember very well how difficult it was for you to move to DE. And even when you did make that decision, you hoped till the very last minute you could have got your BFP. And of course from my side of the pond I can't quite understand why it was so difficult. i remember you wrote so many post on the grief you felt for the bio-child you'll never have. Your concern about looking at your DE child and never see yourself or your family. I'm truly truly happy you are so different now, but it wasn't easy at all. And so perhaps that other girl you are thinking about is just going through her process.
Love, Fran

Lost in Space said...

What a difference a year has made, huh? Amazing.

Gosh, not too sure what to think about the rest. Diagnoses can be so similar, but situations and backgrounds and obstacles can be so different. We all have to make decisions that feel right for us (and our partners). Not everyone is cut out to parent a child that is not biologically theirs and I respect that they know this before bringing a child into their family as it would not be fair to any of them, especially the child.

We have discussed DE to the point of exhaustion and decided that it is not the right choice for us, and surprisingly for very different reasons. It's all hard, but I think we all get just where we are meant to be eventually.

Much love.

iamstacey said...

Wow, what a difference a year makes! Y'all have been through so much heartache to get to the joys you have now! Even when Davie is in her fussy time and I feel helpless to soothe her, I still feel so much love that I never realized was possible. We are lucky!