Monday, May 03, 2010

A Post i've Wanted to Write for 3 Years -ish

I guess that title will completely give it away, but it's offficial - the DEIVF cycle worked. On 11DP5DT, my beta was 430 and my progesterone was 17. I'm a little worried about the progesterone and am doubling up on my crinone from now on.

I called my Dr's office to follow up on the results and they had them faxed over. My doctor started off with the sentence "everything's good" and I lost it. I went to the ugly cry (as Oprah says).

I am in complete shock... I was convinced that this hadn't worked and on my way over to the clinic I was giving myself a little pep talk about how to handle it.

I'm going to go do a follow up beta to make sure we're still on track. I'm cautiously optimistic. Hell, I'm rejoicing, shaking, shocked over the first positive I've seen in 3 years.

H. is happy and has already emailed his Dad who left for France on Saturday.

Thank-you thank-you thank-you for holding the hope in your hearts when I couldn't do it for myself. The comments, emails and support I have received have really lifted me up and comforted me.

Edited to Add: I'm adding the following information for me, so that I have it documented and can refer back to it for nostalgia...

I tried calling the doctor's office all morning, every time I called it was sent direct to voicemail and the box was full. I really wanted to see if my lab tests were available yet. I knew that I was supposed to wait until Tuesday, but I'd waited so long I just wanted to hear the results. At noon I stopped calling and figured I'd just wait until the next day. Around 3pm I decide I'd try one last time to get through to the clinic, the blonde receptionist answered the phones, the one I'm friendly with. I told her it was me and that I was looking to see if my test results were in. She said what results - I said Beta. She checked the computer, they weren't there and then said "I'll call them to get them to fax it over then I'll call you back" about 5 minutes later she called and said "we have the results, come now and Dr. W can see you". I hung up the phone with my heart pounding in my chest and in my ears. I grabbed my sunglasses and a big wad of napkins in case I cried. In the elevator down and on my walk over I gave myself a pep talk of sorts. "It's going to be negative, but that's not the end of the world. We should have frozen embryos, I'll just have to go over and do a FET. It's going to be okay." etc etc. I only had to wait a few minutes at the office before the doctor called me in. She delivered the good news right away, and I seriously lost, Bad ugly cry, huge racking sobs. I had to have her keep repeating what she told me because it wasn't sticking. She handed me the paper with my results and it was shaking like a leaf in my hands. The receptionist high fived me when I came out of the office and said "I knew the results, I just couldn't say anything". They let me use their phone to call H. Then I floated on cloud 9 back to my office.


Fran said...

OH MY GOOOOOD!!! This is the news I was waiting for!! Oh sweetie I'm so so so happy for you, I knew it I felt so positive about this for you, I am so very happy I have tears in my eyes. I know it took time to get used to the DE idea, but it was the right thing to do. I'll wait for the second beta and then I'll move you in the "other" list. You can't believe it but you made my day sweetie. Fran

Valery said...

How incredible is that!
Being more cautious than optimistic half of me yells 'wait for doubling beta' or 'wait for heartbeat' or 'wait for 13 weeks'... but you know what? small steps, and today is positive. So I'll allow that smile on my face and hope you cannot stop grinning for days!

S said...

I am so, so happy for you!

I will be keeping you in my thoughts and praying that it is all smooth sailing going forward.

Cathy said...

WONDERFUL news! I'm so excited that you are able to experience your first positive! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that everything continues to go as well as it has so far.

Congratulations - yippee!

Leigh said...

how EXCITING for YOU!!! I'm so very happy!! congratulations!!

Kate said...

I knew it! Heartiest congrats, that's a stellar beta.

Spacey said...

OMG!!!! Best news EVER!!!! Big Congrats!!!! :))))))))
I hope the extra crinone will do the trick and you'll see some beautiful numbers at your next beta!

Kate said...

PS Will you POAS for posterity?

Mad Hatter said...

Hooooo-ray!!!!!!! Congratulations, my dear friend! I am so thrilled for you! Thinking positive progesterone and doubling beta thoughts here for you! Can't wait to hear the next update!

Lost in Space said...

Great big smiles for you, my friend. Congrats, congrats, congrats!! I couldn't be happier for you!