Friday, October 30, 2009

It's Too Early

So, I got my period this morning on CD21. This has been such a weird cycle what with me ovulating on day 9-ish, then the displaced rib and my boobs have been sore since the day after ovulation. I just feel like everything is all out of whack. And, of course, I thought because my boobs have been sore the entire time, which they usually aren't that I was pregnant. I really thought it. If any doubts crept in I pushed them aside. I thought finally this has to be it. And then I went to the washroom this morning and there it was light red blood streaking the tp.

Now I don't know what to do. I don't want to go to the clinic. I hate the early mornings and the futility of it all. I just want to bury my head in the sand and ignore what is facing me. My God, I wanted to be pregnant at Christmas this year. It's this huge fixation I have. I just can see myself at my parents' house pregnant over Christmas. Seems to be just some dumb fantasy now.

This sucks.

5 comments:

Spacey said...

**big hugs** I can totally related to the longing to be pregnant at Christmas. I really hope your wish comes true.

Mad Hatter said...

Oh, sweetie Sweet Georgia...the streak doesn't necessarily mean game over yet, right? See what tomorrow brings, hon.
In any case, I totally know what you mean about not wanting to go back to the clinic - I have to go in tomorrow morning for my Day 8 blood draw and I am dreading it.
I want to be pregnant at Christmas, too! Keep that vision of you at your mom's - we need to hold on to these!
And, hey, let me know if you ever want to meet for a cup of tea and a chat - it would be pretty easy for us to do! ;-)

Cathy said...

So sorry. I know what you are feeling about having the sore boobs and thinking it has to be it - that happened to me last month and it was extra disappointing.
Sending some hugs your way and keeping fingers crossed that whatever your next step is works out for you.

Lost in Space said...

Any chance this could be implantation bleeding?

I share your dream...

Phoebe said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. It's no fun when your cycles start to go whacky. Big hugs!!