Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sad News

My cousin is miscarrying again. I feel so bad for her, she’s devastated. Her beta went down instead of up and now she just has to wait for nature to take its course. I really thought this was it for her. They’ve been trying for around a year and have now had two miscarriages and a chemical. So, they can get pregnant, but haven’t been able to stay pregnant yet.

I was envious of her pregnancy; I’m so ashamed of myself for that. I didn’t begrudge her. I just want it so badly to happen for me. Now, I just don’t know. Is being able to get pregnant but not carrying to full term easier/better than not being able to get pregnant at all? I don’t think so.

This is the cousin that I thought the next time she was pregnant that I’d get pregnant. We’d be pregnant together. It all just doesn’t make sense.


iamstacey said...

I'm so sorry for your cousin. And I freely admit I'm jealous that she could get pregnant at all! I've never seen those two pink lines.

CHAR said...

So very sorry for your cousin. What a nightmare.


Fran said...

I am so sorry for your cousin, I don't know what's best, you kow my story, two pregancies after IVF/ICSI and two ectopics. I can assure you that the fear of enduring that ordeal again is something else. I hope with all my heart that we'll all get what we desire most. Much love, Fran

Spacey said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. ((hugs))

Lost in Space said...

I'm so sorry to read this. Keeping both you and your cousin in my thoughts.

Mad Hatter said...

I'm sorry, Sweet Georgia. I know exactly what you mean about being envious and wondering which is worse...Take care of yourself and your cousin.