Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Guilt

I went in for my acupuncture appointment today; she took one look at my chart and said “So you were pregnant”. She also said that I need progesterone support. She said this after the first chemical and I did not listen to her. Fuck.

So, as soon as I got back to my office I made a call to my fertility clinic explaining that I’ve had 2 chemicals in 3 cycles and that I believe I need progesterone support. The nurse said that she’d talk to the dr. and if he agrees that I can get it at their office.

“If he agrees”… he better agree or they’re going to have one seriously pissed patient on their hands. I don’t know if this is true everywhere, but in Ontario progesterone is only available via a prescription.

Do I need to detail the guilt that I’m feeling? Potentially, if I had made that call prior to my last cycle I could still be pregnant right now.

I know there are many reasons that chemicals can happen – it could be my eggs, it could be a problem with the embryo etc. So, I’m just going to try to move on from here. Do what I need to do to take care of myself and not look back.

On a side note, I lost half a pound over Christmas. I wasn’t particularly careful, but didn’t go crazy either. I started Wei.ght Wa.tchers yesterday, and so far so good. It’s always so easy to jump in when it’s the beginning; I know that down the road I may need a little support.

2 comments:

S said...

No-one gives us more of a hard time that we do ourselves.

Big hugs for that.

On the weight loss thing, I lost almost 30kg to improve my fertility chances. I'll be here to support you.
Once you get going, it becomes addictive and before you know it, you'll be at your goal weight.

S X

Lost in Space said...

Hugs, hun. Be gentle with yourself. This was not anything you could have predicted or prepared for.

Losing a pound during regular times is a great accomplishment, but over the holidays is really amazing! Congrats!!