I found love late in life, the good strong lasting kind of love I mean. Which meant my dream of having a family was on hold until my 30's. Now married and 40, after 3+years of trying, I am a mom to a beautiful baby girl.
October, 2000 - H. and I went on our first date.
March 2001 - We moved in together
May 2005 - H. proposed to me in Central Park after dinner at Tavern on the Green.
October, 2006 - We were married in Holguin, Cuba surrounded by close family and friends.
December 2006 - We started TTC.
February 2008 - Cycle went all wonky - got referral to Fertility Clinic
April 2008 - Results from FC appt. - Me: FSH- 12 (sigh, many tears) H. - Stellar Sperm
August 2008 - First (and only to date) IUI with inj (100iu Puregon) - BFN
October 2008 - 1st Chemical Pregnancy
December 2008 - 2nd Chemical Pregnancy
January 2009 - Cancelled IUI#2 - FSH 19.9 (Many, many tears, fear of gawd put in me)
March 2009 - Trying IVF, .05 Suprefact, 150 iu Puregon twice a day - BFN
May 2009 - Changed clinics. Working with Dr. H 2.0 now. Starting EPP cycle monitoring + double IUI
June 2009 - EPP cycle monitoring. Finished patches, onto 300iu Puregon per day. Had an SHG, left tube blocked. IUI = BFN
July 2009 - Met with Dr. H. He'll work with us for four good (low-ish FSH) cycles (no stims, estrogen patch, monitoring, timed intercourse/iui) then we'll see where we go from there.
August 2009 - Haven't been to the clinic yet, was away and couldn't get to the clinic. Loving the break! Haven't been this relaxed in a year.
September 2009 - Returned to the clinic for a monitored cycle. FSH was 8.9. Ovulated early, cycle was a bust.
October 2009 - Returned to the clinic for a monitored cycle. FSH was 8.1. Ovulated early, and got AF on CD21, cycle was a bust.
November 2009 - Investigating donor eggs.
December 2009 - Long natural cycle - 32ish days BFN, have a date for donor eggs.
January 2010 - Booked our trip to Brno, we leave April 13th.
April 2010 - Went to Brno for DEIVF, transferred two hatching blastocysts.
May 2010 - BFP!!! Beta #1 = 430 on 11DP5DT, Beta #2 = 1206 on 13DP5DT.
3 comments:
I know there are no words right now that can make this better. I'm just so sorry, sweetie. This journey is full of such unfairness and when we finally reach the IVF stage we are so sure to have found our answer. It stings like nothing else when it doesn't.
My hubby and I have gone through major fights and issues after each failure. Men cope in such different ways from us. An IVF BFN is so unfair because it is happening to both of you which makes it hard for each of you to "be there" for the other. Cling to him the best you can and grieve however you need to while trying to remember that he is grieving in his own way too.
I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it will eventually start to get better. Drop me an email anytime, okay? I'm still here........
There are no words.
I'm so sorry.
((((HUGS))))
S X
I am so sorry. **big hugs** I was so hopeful for you that it will work. I know that there are no words that I could say to make it better or easier. Please take all the time you need to get through this and if you need anything I'm here for you.
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