Monday, February 01, 2010

Just breathe

The party on Friday was excellent. We drank a lot of bubbly, listened to 80s music, watched 80s movies (Footloose and Dirty Dancing) and laughed a lot. The room we got was excellent and accomodated everyone. And, I loved getting my mani done. Oh and the cupcakes were divine. I think T had a mini breakdown - she's not handling this birthday very well, but overall I'm pretty sure she had a good time.

Next thing to get ready for is P's 30th birthday. I cut his picture out over and over again and now just have to get sticks to paste the masks on. I think he's going to love them.

I've been feeling pretty good since I went to my naturopath on Thursday. But, on Sunday I had that heavy feeling creeping back in. So I took some of the valeriacalm that she suggested. At first it made me feel a little loopy, but after a while I just felt calm again and the heaviness fell away. I think part of what has been weighing on me is some bad news that has occurred over the past week on the boards that I visit. 3 women all pregnant after IF had losses last week. One, a natural surprise bfp, lost her little monkey after having seen the heartbeat. One, pregant with twins via IVF, lost both after having seen the heartbeats. And, one also pregnant with twins via IVF, lost one of her little guys after having seen the heartbeats. You would think that women who have to go through infertility to finally have success would be given a free pass once they are pregnant. It truly shows just how unfair things can be and the complete randomness of everything.

There is no easy part of this battle. We fight and fight to get pregnant. Then magically one day it happens. Then we fight and fight to stay pregnant. Will the fear follow us through every step of our children's lives? When does it stop and we can just breathe?


Fran said...

I'm sure the party was great and you have another one coming up!

On the pregnancies and IVF...well I do know a lot about the unfairness of it all...but still it's the only hope we have to ever be parents so we have to suck it up and go ahead. Much love, Fran

Lost in Space said...

Look at you, party girl. (-;

If only this IF stuff worked on fairness...

Mad Hatter said...

Mmmmm...maybe we IFers need to have a valeriacalm party! That bubbly party sounds amazing - what a great idea!

So sad about the losses this week. It is definitely a battle - as Mr. Hatter always reminds me, hopefully it will make the victory that much sweeter. I am so glad you are getting closer to yours, SG - it is your turn.


maxandzuzu said...

The party sounded wonderful! It's nice to be able to let loose from time to time.

About the loses. I don't know if I'll ever see a child of my own, but I do think that the fear would stay with me. I tend to be a worrier. The kind of person where every little ache and pain is a tumor! Women that have experienced IF seem to have a difficult time ever relaxing throughout their miracle pregnancies. We can only hope that after birth we will feel some peace.