Monday, May 11, 2009

Sigh.

So, H and I are basically having to make ourselves ok with an unconventional (for us) route to parenthood by using adoption or donor egg, to make our family complete. Or, the other option is just being the two of us. Friday’s appointment highlighted just how dire our situation is and Mother’s Day highlighted how strong my desire to be a mother really is. So, today I go on to the message board that I follow, and something tells me to check a particular board. My cousin is online there and I know that it’s her, but she doesn’t know it’s me. I don’t comment to her and I generally don’t post stalk her, but I’ve been very bad when it comes to TTC. So, I check into this board because I just know she’s going to have a post there. And, sure enough I was correct. She got her BFP yesterday, on Mother’s Day. She is so excited and I will be excited for her, but first I have to get past this angry at the universe feeling.

I’m kind of glad that I found out this way; at least I’ll be prepared when she tells me in person.

5 comments:

BabyWanted said...

I'm sorry sweetie. I'm thinking about you sooo much.
(((HUGS)))

Spacey said...

I'm so sorry. Give yourself time to think and talk things through.
The workup started with Dr. H might come back with some pleasant results. Always remember that regardless, there are options! It is not the end of the road. **hugs**

CHAR said...

I am so sorry sweetie!! I wish i was there to give you a huge hug. This pain is so so hard to deal with. So.Not.Fair.
xxoxoxoxo

Phoebe said...

I realized too this past Mother's Day how much I still want to be a mom. These unpleasant reminders are hard. HUGS!

La La said...

So sorry about the cousin and everything else hun. ::sigh:: I wish I had the magic words that would make all of this better. ((hugs))