Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Hope Glows

This morning on my way to work I stopped in at my Dr.'s office and got my rubella shot. Man, that hurt. Not the needle, but the vaccine itself. It really stings going in. In 4 weeks' time I will go back for follow up blood work and hope that it comes back as immune. I'm not sure what happens if the results come back as inconclusive again. Can you just keep getting the same immunization shot over and over?

AF arrived yesterday afternoon, well I don't know whether I should count it as day 1 or not. There was spotting in the afternoon and full flow in the evening. If yesterday was day 1 then my cycle was 29 days this month, if not it was 30 days. I am pretty happy about that because the prior two cycles were 32 days and then 17 days, the pattern has been a long cycle then a short cycle with the long one getting longer and the short one getting shorter. So, I am very happy with 29.5 days; now comes the wait to see exactly how long this cycle will be. I am hoping for a minimum of 25 days. Maybe the herbs that the naturopath gave me are working; maybe it's just my "positive" thinking .

Tomorrow at noon is my follow up appointment at the FC with Dr. Handsome. I'm nervous and excited about it because as much as I want to ready myself for a bad news session, there's so much optimism running around in me. I'm trying to reign it in but it keeps getting free. With my FSH level I know that there's probably a less than 5% chance that we can get pregnant naturally. And, even if we do IVF, if my eggs are no good then we may not get pregnant that way either. But, I can't help but feel hope. Hope glows like a bright yellow light in my belly and I don't want to extinguish it.

1 comment:

Mums_the_word said...

Isn't it crazy how some injections are nothing, and some are nearly enough to make you curse a blue streak? I hope this at least nets you a 'better' test result! If it doesn't, they'll probably consider the test as "simply not working for you", but still tell you to be aware of potential exposure when you get pregnant. (yes, WHEN ;) )

Glad to hear that things seem to be evening out... that's a great sign! Are they going to check your FSH again? Tomorrow would be good timing to check it...

Stay positive and hopeful... it's really crucial through this whole process to be able to cherish that "bright yellow light" to help you through the darker moments