Tuesday, June 10, 2008


I have started, then deleted, then re-started this post several times. It feels like there's so much to say, but every time I start it just sounds like crap to me and I delete it. I'm having difficulty putting my thoughts out there eloquently.

Let's just say this. I'm disappointed that I'm not pregnant, I'm so frustrated with my body and I'm so angry with, I don't know, God?, the world?, myself? that my body doesn't work like 90% of the female population - any more. I have been pregnant in the past, a long time in the past, but it happened never the less.

Would we be having these problems if we'd started trying when I was 32 instead of 36? Or, would we have been met with the same frustration? All of I have is questions and very few answers.

Blah, even this isn't what I'd intended to say. sigh.

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