Sunday, June 08, 2008

CD 2

That's right I'm on CD2, the spotting started Friday night and by Saturday night AF was here in full force. I was (am) extremely disappointed that this cycle was a bust. I allowed myself all of Saturday to wallow, H. even took me to see In.diana Jo.nes last night. I loved it!

Now I'm just trying to focus on the positives of the last cycle 1. I ovulated on my own!, 2. Our baby-making attempts were perfectly timed, 3. I had a 25 day cycle which is normal for me, 4. I didn't pee on a single stick, which has been my undoing in the past. So, we had a 10% chance of getting pregnant naturally, the 90% found us this time. If I am lucky enough to have another normal cycle this time, we won't really change anything. Except, that H. will take the sud.afed before our baby-making sessions that way ensuring the full volume is expelled so to speak.

Deep down, I don't want to have to take 12 vitamins/supplements every morning and 6 at night. I don't want to have to inject myself on the possibility it will help develop eggs, and then have another shot to force ovulation and have H. have to whack off into a jar so that his sperm can go up a ladder of sorts into a test tube to be injected into me. I want to be like 90% of the population and have sex with my husband/partner/stranger from the bar and get pregnant by you know, actually having sex. Most of all I don't want to be the warning sign for my friends, the example of what can go wrong so easily. I can see it in their eyes when we talk about getting pregnant - they look at me with this combination of pity and terror. We're all the same age, and they still want to have kids. So, seeing what I'm going through must scare the bejesus out of them. (Notice I left the acupuncture off this list, I love love love my acupuncture and would do it even if it wasn't for fertility.)

C'mon cycle 21!

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