Thursday, June 25, 2009

Negative

Another fucking negative pregnancy test, I knew it, but it still hurts. I actually felt my disappointment today.

Now we have 4 natural cycles with this clinic and then we’ll get the boot.

I’m not going to the clinic this month. We’re going to the cottage in the middle of July and I don’t want to be worrying about this while we’re there. On the plus side now I can buy Wii Active and start working out again.

I don’t know where we go from here. Looks like donor eggs or a clinic in the States. I don’t know it seems the only thing that actually guarantees that you’ll have a baby at the end of all of this is adoption.

I am in shock that this is my life. How the fuck did I get here?!

EDITED to ADD

Thank-you for your comments. I'm touched to have people following along on my little saga. Your kind words and support mean a lot to me.

8 comments:

Fran said...

Oh Sweet Georgia, I am so so sorry. this sucks no end. I know it's no consolation at all, but my clinic very seldom recommends IUI as the chance of success are just a little more than a normal cycle on your own. I think it's just as good that you take a bit of a break now. I know I mentioned this in one other occasion, but woudl your clinic not consider an ICSI on a natural cycle? A big virtual hug my friend, may you feel better soon.

G & H said...

:( I am so sorry no matter how many negatives tests we seee each one hurts more and more...I am so sorry but I think its a great idea to take off July for the cottage and enjoy that month...I'll be thinking of ya :)

Sandra D. said...

How the fuck did I get here is right! The world is a messed up place, and I really empathize with your BFN. I also agree with the others that the cottage could be a much-needed break. In the meantime, I think you should do something nice for yourself - buy that something you've been eyeing, go to the spa, spend the day with a girlfriend...I think we need to be extra nice to ourselves sometimes!

iamstacey said...

I'm so sorry about your BFN. Relaxing at the cottage sounds like the perfect idea! I hope ya'll have the perfect time connecting with all the pressure off.

Hope said...

I am so sorry for your negative, taking a short break is probably a good idea.

CHAR said...

So sorry...This is so hard I know. The cottage sounds like a great thing to try to relax & recharge.

Thinking of you xo

Spacey said...

I'm so sorry for the BFN. :( This is so unfair. ((hugs))
The cottage and relaxing sounds like a great idea.

Cathy said...

Catching up on blogs and I just wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear that. Maybe a nice getaway will help you re-group. Know that you have a lot of us supporting and going through the same stupid negatives and problems. Big hugs!