Monday, June 29, 2009

That was tough

On Saturday we had a family party at my Aunt's place in the country in honour of Canada Day (July 1st). In Canada we get the day off, but it's a Wednesday, so in order to properly whoop it up we celebrated early. It was a pretty good time.

My cousin was there with her 1 month old baby girl... my Mom held the baby for about an hour, smiling and cooing at the baby. And, slowly breaking my heart. You see I got my period that morning which was the final confirmation that the recent IUIs had not worked.

I felt alone and isolated at that party. Oh and it was great when my Aunt forced me to hold the baby. She was adorable and smelled great. It was bittersweet.

I wish I could find the old me.

8 comments:

G & H said...

hey girl i have a feeling we are feeling very much the same way today....

hang in there

Lost in Space said...

Ouch on all accounts. I'm sorry for what should have been an enjoyable day.

I fear if anyone put a baby in my arms these days that I would just run away with him/her.

Hugs. Hugs. Hugs. I wish it were easier.

I miss the old me too...

Kate said...

Grr. Sounds really shitty. I'm sure that's how I'll be in September, when my niece arrives. Sorry it was so rough.

CHAR said...

It is so hard I know. I was at a party & holding my 9 mon old nephew. Gosh...it is hard ..I looked at how beautiful he was & think I wonder what a child of mine would look like.

Big Hugs (())

iamstacey said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. What a rough day, from start to end. {{{hugs}}}

Spacey said...

I hear ya. I know how hard it is, but it will happen. ((hugs))

Fran said...

I so very much understand you my friend. I also would like to find my old self...let's try and be positive that our turn will come soon. Fran

Phoebe said...

I'm so sorry about the IUI not working. I understand how heartbreaking it is when it fails. I've been kinda MIA lately. I'm very sad and wondering where the old me is too.